Making a Positive Impression

So... to continue with this 'discussion' (okay, it is more like a monolog!); a positive attitude is a way of life. It requires a conscious effort of the beholder to commit to positivity and to possibility. What does THAT mean? Let me explain... positivity (I confess; I believe that I just made up that term) refers to the process of thinking, speaking, acting and modeling positive perspective; possibility refers to the ability to perceive situations in terms of the possibilities that may result. It's never too late to adopt these perspectives. I believe that my mother facilitated this technique in me and my siblings by insisting that we begin every day with a smile. Seriously. If we came out of our rooms in the morning with a sour attitude she would immediately send us back to our rooms with the instructions that we were to come back out with a smile and a better attitude. -And we'd better be quick about it because we were not allowed to be late for school or for any chores that needed to be done! A positive attitude begins the very moment we awake, or at the very least, with our first glance into the mirror in the morning.No matter how difficult the situations that I may have to face that day, I greet myself with a smile in the morning mirror. -It just seems to start my day on a good note.
 May I confess that I've endured days when even that was difficult? I recall one day in particular when I caught a glimpse of myself; the face reflected looked tired, worn, beaten down.... frightening! What did I do? I shrieked with horror -loudly!! My children came running to see what was the matter... and when they asked; I told them that I looked in the mirror and was so scared with my own face that I screamed. We all laughed and it seemed to set things right in my heart! My day was immediately better and my problems put into perspective. Thank God for a sense of humor! Serousy though; the 'take-home' message is this: if your culture permits, greet your self, your day and others with eye contact and a smile.
A few years ago, I took a lovely trip to England to speak at a conference. The trip was particularly long because I was travelling alone, the venue was in the country and the train workers were apparently on strike.  Imagine my surprise when a fellow traveller, sporting heavy black make-up and safety pins through her face  remarked to me that she thought I was rather brave to be seen in public looking as I did. I quickly examined my appearance, thinking perhaps my grooming had gone awry. -I know that I'm not the prettiest creature that God has ever made, but it had not occurred to me that I would need courage to show my face in public! When I appeared confused with the comment, she added that she thought that I was brave to be seen in public with a hook prosthesis instead of a hand. I was both relieved (thankful that she was not actually saying that I was ugly) and bewildered (why did wearing a functional prosthesis instead of a cosmetic one require bravery?)... And that is what we will talk about next... personal preferences and the reality of our perceptions!

“Man, through the use of his hands, as they are energized by mind and will, can influence the state of his own health."

Yesterday I posted this quote by Mary Reilly, an American OT; leader in the profession. How bold! How dare I post these words on a blog that claims devotion to those of us with upper limb deficiency! How seemingly insensitive to challenge those without hand(s) to perceive that their health -and perhaps well-being or even success, lies in the use  of the hands.
Do not misunderstand... I do challenge you with these same words: as an occupational therapist, as a peer, as a mentor. But hear ALL  of the words: they say. "... through the use of (his) hands, as they are energized by mind and will..."
How interesting that I have started this section on 'attitude'. This quote actually speaks to attitude: the mind and the will which are seated on the throne of attitude!
We must determine within our own 'self' to influence our own state. It's not a matter of actually having hands, but of finding ways, methods, strategies to accomplish tasks using the tools at our disposal. For some, the prosthesis may become the natural extension of the residual limb. For others, the residual limb can provide whatever is needed to meet the physical, and psycho-emotional demands. For some, the will to achieve is stronger and mightier than discouragement. For others discouragement and even temporal setback becomes a reason to quit. For some, an open mind yields possibilities toward success. For others, the mind is closed to thinking that more than one route leads to achievement. Where are you in the crowd? Are you among the believers, the doers and the possibility-thinkers?
I encourage you to begin today.... put your mind and your will at the helm of a positive attitude! If you need help; write to me... I will be happy to encourage you!
Let me conclude by sharing some words of wisdom from my parents...
" (Debi, ) you can accomplish anything that you want to do... You may have to do it differently, but you can do anything that you set your mind to do. You will just have to want to do it badly enough.
And we are here to help you."

Hmm; it seems that my parents knew that the energy of the mind and the will had the power to unseat doubt and despair and facilitate accomplishment. Kudos to you, Mom and Dad! Oh, and thank you.

Attitude!

Let's talk about attitude! When I use that word, I'm referring specifically to how we carry ourselves... the image that we project, the message that our body language sends to others. As a little girl, I would often walk with my arms crossed in front of my body, my left hand holding my prosthesis at the elbow. To my parents, this gave the appearance that I was hiding my prosthesis or that I was ashamed of it. As I reflect about this now I know that it was less about hiding it.... I didn't have enough 'world experience' to be hiding it.... it was about balance and the integration of my lengthened prosthetic extremity with the rest of my body. If our trunk is the core, that is where we perceive stabilization; I remember that feeling of 'unbalance' and that by holding myself close to my core, I felt more stable, physically balanced.

So, what does that have to do with attitude? Well; I'm getting to that!!! I often refer to my parents as visionaries... When I was born, sans right forearm, they had a vision that I would be every bit as able and capable as the next person... or even more (yes, my parents expected personal excellence from each of us). There is a scripture that says... "without a vision, the city perishes"... so for success to occur, we must have a goal that we strive to achieve. There is no one way to achieve the goal, but many; and some of the ways are better than others. Throughout my childhood, my parents would work with me on my posture: not slumping forward, not leaning to one side, feet pointed forward, feet shoulder-width apart, head held high, looking forward not down; and eye contact. Did I mention the smile? All of these factors are beneficial for a growing musculoskeletal system, but are also vital to a developing body image... no matter what the age, no matter what the onset of limb loss. My parents were so focused on the vision that they had that they pursued and even created opportunities for me to achieve and to acquire the vision for myself.

How did they do this? BY EXAMPLING the attitude of meeting life and its 'situations' head-on with feet firmly planted, head held high and eyes focused. Yes, and with a smile! There was no problem, whether it was  learning to cut with scissors (only right-hand scissors were available in schools in the 1960's; I do not have a right hand and my parents had to find left-hand scissors... or even if they existed! Ha ha; there was no internet then to 'google' resources!); devising a method to hold a pick in order to play guitar (thanks Dad!); enrolling in a 'finishing' class during awkward adolescence  to pull it all together (thanks Mom for the "Sitting Beauty" program!) or recovering from rejection of others because I was 'different'... any disappointment was met with the same objective: overcoming the challenge. So, I've introduced to you the importance of a vision and the influence of a positive attitude.... stay tuned, next we'll talk about that smile.... oh, and lemons!!!!