Making a Positive Impression

So... to continue with this 'discussion' (okay, it is more like a monolog!); a positive attitude is a way of life. It requires a conscious effort of the beholder to commit to positivity and to possibility. What does THAT mean? Let me explain... positivity (I confess; I believe that I just made up that term) refers to the process of thinking, speaking, acting and modeling positive perspective; possibility refers to the ability to perceive situations in terms of the possibilities that may result. It's never too late to adopt these perspectives. I believe that my mother facilitated this technique in me and my siblings by insisting that we begin every day with a smile. Seriously. If we came out of our rooms in the morning with a sour attitude she would immediately send us back to our rooms with the instructions that we were to come back out with a smile and a better attitude. -And we'd better be quick about it because we were not allowed to be late for school or for any chores that needed to be done! A positive attitude begins the very moment we awake, or at the very least, with our first glance into the mirror in the morning.No matter how difficult the situations that I may have to face that day, I greet myself with a smile in the morning mirror. -It just seems to start my day on a good note.
 May I confess that I've endured days when even that was difficult? I recall one day in particular when I caught a glimpse of myself; the face reflected looked tired, worn, beaten down.... frightening! What did I do? I shrieked with horror -loudly!! My children came running to see what was the matter... and when they asked; I told them that I looked in the mirror and was so scared with my own face that I screamed. We all laughed and it seemed to set things right in my heart! My day was immediately better and my problems put into perspective. Thank God for a sense of humor! Serousy though; the 'take-home' message is this: if your culture permits, greet your self, your day and others with eye contact and a smile.
A few years ago, I took a lovely trip to England to speak at a conference. The trip was particularly long because I was travelling alone, the venue was in the country and the train workers were apparently on strike.  Imagine my surprise when a fellow traveller, sporting heavy black make-up and safety pins through her face  remarked to me that she thought I was rather brave to be seen in public looking as I did. I quickly examined my appearance, thinking perhaps my grooming had gone awry. -I know that I'm not the prettiest creature that God has ever made, but it had not occurred to me that I would need courage to show my face in public! When I appeared confused with the comment, she added that she thought that I was brave to be seen in public with a hook prosthesis instead of a hand. I was both relieved (thankful that she was not actually saying that I was ugly) and bewildered (why did wearing a functional prosthesis instead of a cosmetic one require bravery?)... And that is what we will talk about next... personal preferences and the reality of our perceptions!

This is my new friend Ollie. He hangs out with my friend Jessie and visited us today at Shriners Hospitals for Children. Like so many of us, Ollie has a compelling story of how he lost his left "upper" extremity and is overcoming adversity. Watch for upcoming tales (!) of Ollie's adventures.

In the meantime, however, notice his smile!

“Man, through the use of his hands, as they are energized by mind and will, can influence the state of his own health."

Yesterday I posted this quote by Mary Reilly, an American OT; leader in the profession. How bold! How dare I post these words on a blog that claims devotion to those of us with upper limb deficiency! How seemingly insensitive to challenge those without hand(s) to perceive that their health -and perhaps well-being or even success, lies in the use  of the hands.
Do not misunderstand... I do challenge you with these same words: as an occupational therapist, as a peer, as a mentor. But hear ALL  of the words: they say. "... through the use of (his) hands, as they are energized by mind and will..."
How interesting that I have started this section on 'attitude'. This quote actually speaks to attitude: the mind and the will which are seated on the throne of attitude!
We must determine within our own 'self' to influence our own state. It's not a matter of actually having hands, but of finding ways, methods, strategies to accomplish tasks using the tools at our disposal. For some, the prosthesis may become the natural extension of the residual limb. For others, the residual limb can provide whatever is needed to meet the physical, and psycho-emotional demands. For some, the will to achieve is stronger and mightier than discouragement. For others discouragement and even temporal setback becomes a reason to quit. For some, an open mind yields possibilities toward success. For others, the mind is closed to thinking that more than one route leads to achievement. Where are you in the crowd? Are you among the believers, the doers and the possibility-thinkers?
I encourage you to begin today.... put your mind and your will at the helm of a positive attitude! If you need help; write to me... I will be happy to encourage you!
Let me conclude by sharing some words of wisdom from my parents...
" (Debi, ) you can accomplish anything that you want to do... You may have to do it differently, but you can do anything that you set your mind to do. You will just have to want to do it badly enough.
And we are here to help you."

Hmm; it seems that my parents knew that the energy of the mind and the will had the power to unseat doubt and despair and facilitate accomplishment. Kudos to you, Mom and Dad! Oh, and thank you.

Attitude!

Let's talk about attitude! When I use that word, I'm referring specifically to how we carry ourselves... the image that we project, the message that our body language sends to others. As a little girl, I would often walk with my arms crossed in front of my body, my left hand holding my prosthesis at the elbow. To my parents, this gave the appearance that I was hiding my prosthesis or that I was ashamed of it. As I reflect about this now I know that it was less about hiding it.... I didn't have enough 'world experience' to be hiding it.... it was about balance and the integration of my lengthened prosthetic extremity with the rest of my body. If our trunk is the core, that is where we perceive stabilization; I remember that feeling of 'unbalance' and that by holding myself close to my core, I felt more stable, physically balanced.

So, what does that have to do with attitude? Well; I'm getting to that!!! I often refer to my parents as visionaries... When I was born, sans right forearm, they had a vision that I would be every bit as able and capable as the next person... or even more (yes, my parents expected personal excellence from each of us). There is a scripture that says... "without a vision, the city perishes"... so for success to occur, we must have a goal that we strive to achieve. There is no one way to achieve the goal, but many; and some of the ways are better than others. Throughout my childhood, my parents would work with me on my posture: not slumping forward, not leaning to one side, feet pointed forward, feet shoulder-width apart, head held high, looking forward not down; and eye contact. Did I mention the smile? All of these factors are beneficial for a growing musculoskeletal system, but are also vital to a developing body image... no matter what the age, no matter what the onset of limb loss. My parents were so focused on the vision that they had that they pursued and even created opportunities for me to achieve and to acquire the vision for myself.

How did they do this? BY EXAMPLING the attitude of meeting life and its 'situations' head-on with feet firmly planted, head held high and eyes focused. Yes, and with a smile! There was no problem, whether it was  learning to cut with scissors (only right-hand scissors were available in schools in the 1960's; I do not have a right hand and my parents had to find left-hand scissors... or even if they existed! Ha ha; there was no internet then to 'google' resources!); devising a method to hold a pick in order to play guitar (thanks Dad!); enrolling in a 'finishing' class during awkward adolescence  to pull it all together (thanks Mom for the "Sitting Beauty" program!) or recovering from rejection of others because I was 'different'... any disappointment was met with the same objective: overcoming the challenge. So, I've introduced to you the importance of a vision and the influence of a positive attitude.... stay tuned, next we'll talk about that smile.... oh, and lemons!!!!

How Do You Do... Washing Dishes?

Now that we've done all of this cooking, we have a ton of dishes to wash! Believe it or not, washing dishes is a task I actually enjoy. It's my therapy!!!! When I was younger, my sister and I had the responsibility of clearing the table and washing, drying and putting away the dishes nightly. I didn't seem to love it then; probably because there were so many dishes and because there was no choice involved.  I recall telling my parents on one occasion that I could not wash the dishes and shouldn't be required to do so because the water would rust my hook. My father was quick to explain to me the scientific properties of aluminum (it doesn't rust) and sent me back to the kitchen. At the time, it was worth a try!
When washing dishes, I hold the sponge in my terminal device.

With the Adept, I use the Sure-Lock and it maintains the grasp for me.

If no prosthesis, I use either a dishcloth  draped over my residual arm  or I push the sponge with my residual arm and hold the dish in my hand. Glasses are easy... my shorter arm fits right inside the glass to wash it out.

When washing pans, I hold the scrubber in my hand instead and stabilize the pan or pot with my prosthesis or residual arm.

Drying dishes is accomplished by holding the towel in my terminal device or draped on my arm if no prosthesis.

That was easy... we made short work of the dishes!

How Do You Do... Cooking 101

Since we were just talking about cutting food, this is a good opportunity to segue into cooking. Now, cooking has not always been a passion... just ask my mother (please, don't ask my brothers, my kids or my husband! -My sister will vouch for me though!). When my daughters were small, someone asked them what was their favorite meal for me to make them... they responded by naming the local grocery store's salad bar. Ouch!
I can thank my friend Elaine for inspiring me to cook more (please check out her blog, http://cookinwithlove.blogspot.com/ for some savory ideas!). I also have to say that cooking is much more enjoyable with my new terminal device, the Adept. I know, this sounds like an ad for TRS(www.oandp.com/products/trs) but honestly, don't you want to know WHY???? It's because of the thumb! Really. It's amazing. Did you know, that in the human hand, the thumb accounts for approximately 70% of hand function? Using the hook, I was notorious for squishing tomatoes, fruit, and bread OR for shooting slippery foods across the room. With the Adept, I can grasp deftly and not pulverize food while cutting. I love it. You should see me chop. I put Mr. Ginsu to shame.
What about mixing? Of course I love my KitchenAid mixer ( who doesn't?) but if mixing by hand I prefer a bowl with a handle. I can grab it with my terminal device to stabilize the bowl. I love bowls that have a non-skid surface on the bottom and a handle that is open. If I'm not wearing my prosthesis, I can hold the bowl by positioning my residual arm at about the elbow length in the handle to stabilize it.
Getting things out of the oven is easy... I use both my hand and my prosthesis to balance the pans - I only need one potholder if using the hook; I use a silicon hot pad (ok, sometimes) when using the Adept.
If I'm not wearing a prosthesis, I definitely cover my residual limb with a potholder or several layers of dishtowels and remove the pan with my hand and arm.
My friends Hermine and Brian love to invite us for their famous Lobster Fest... I am the Official Remover of the Lobster from the Pot. You guessed it, I reach into the pot with my bare hook (NOT my beautiful black Adept) and grab the lobster! And of course, I come equipped with my own lobster dissembly tools!
So, what do YOU think about all of this information? Watch for the next issue... We'll review actual chopping techniques, opening cans (using an electric can opener is just too easy!) and transferring pots of hot water from stove to sink. Enjoy the long holiday week-end and stay safe from Hurricane Earl!

How Do You Do... Cutting Food?

I'm hungry; aren't you? Eating is something that we do at least a few times a day! Since I have a hand, I use it to hold my fork while dining. I do not use special equipment for this task, but that does not mean it wouldn't be helpful for others. For example, if I lost use of my left hand, I would use my prosthesis to hold the fork or spoon -But a better utensil might be one with a bent angle; especially since my wrist component does not have a flexion action. A great way to grasp utensils with the hook is by pinching it between the 'fingers' and resting the handle on the outer side of the medial or 'thumb-side' finger.

And I would probably use a rocker knife or a rolling pizza knife to facilitate better cutting with the prosthesis.

But this is really about cutting the food. I hold the fork in a similar fashion when I'm cutting my meat. The difference is that I face the fork downward and use it to spear the food.

I then use a knife in my hand.

Once the food is cut, I switch utensils and hold the fork in my hand to eat.

I use a similar technique with my Adept,

only after grasping the fork with the terminal device, I click the button on the Sure-Lock system and it does the work of active pinching for me.

My energy is saved for cutting... and then of course eating!

If I am not using a prosthesis (I admit, that's rare! -I wear my prosthesis typically 15-18 hours per day.), I grasp the fork in the crook of my elbow (residual limb side, of course)

and cut holding the knife in my hand.

Then I transfer the utensil to my hand.

How Do You Do... Shoe-tying?

Let's talk about tying shoes. It's been one of the most frequently-asked questions (#1 is how do you put on panty-hose, but we don't quite know each other well enough to discuss that yet!)

Shoe-tying has been made easier of course with the advent of velcro and elastic laces.

That being said, I like to tie my own shoes, especially if they match the rest of my ensemble!
Since I am typically wearing my prosthesis, let's examine the steps involved:

1. I cross laces at the onset of the task--it saves a step:

 2. I use my hand to push the (left hand) lace under the crossed laces:

3. Then I form a loop with my left hand:

 

4. And I wind the lace held by my TD around it, and push it through the 'hole' created by the lace with my left hand :

5. I then grasp both laces with each hand (yes, I often refer to my prosthesis as my hand; it is truly an extension of my 'self') and pull laterally:

6. Voila!

Tout fini! (All finished!)

That wasn't so hard, was it?

I'd love to show you how I tie shoes without my prosthesis... I use basically the same staps, only I use the crook of my elbow to 'grasp' the lace. Positioning is key (remember that; I tend to say that alot...)!

1. Cross the laces;

2. Use the hand to push the lace under the crossed laces;

3. Form the loop with the hand;

4. Wind the lace with the crook of the elbow and push it through the 'hole' created by the lace with the hand;

5.  Then grasp both laces with each side--hand and elbow crook-- and pull laterally:

6. Voila!

Fait accompli! (Task accomplished!)

Again.... easy! -Though the old adage, "practice makes perfect" certainly carries alot of weight! I remember being 5 and 6 years old and practicing ad nauseum tying shoes with and without my prosthesis. I remember being so angry and crying in frustration because I just couldn't get it together. But, I also remember the sweetness of victory; of practicing, correcting error, perfecting technique until I got it. The sweetness of victory; of overcoming and being able to achieve.... beautiful. I re-live it now; I re-live it in the successes of those empowered.

Hooray! What shall we practice next??? Let me know; otherwise it's my pick!

How Do You Do.... Series Introduction

What an encouragement to receive your responses both publicly via blog and privately!! Thank you so very much.  To give you an idea of what to expect  in the very near future, and as part of the 'introduction', I was thinking about the phrase we have used so commonly when we meet another: "How do you do?". Frequently, after I meet someone I am asked, "How do you do.... (a specific task/activity)?"
So.... let's chat about that! I will be commenting on how I address specific bimanual tasks both with and without my prosthesis... When applicable, I may provide additional info between the voluntary closing (Adept) and voluntary opening (hook) terminal devices.
I've used the hook for most of my life. Believe it or not, it is by choice, and no, not because I loved being called names (you guessed it, Captain Hook was the most common, least imaginative!) It was because even early on, I recognized that for me, (and that is key) function takes precedence over cosmesis. At the time... and we are talking decades ago, there were not many choices! So as I introduce the How Do You Do series, let's talk about the 'times' and the culture of the times for a moment.  We now live in a culturally-diverse and culturally-aware society. Everything in medicine, education, government, economics, entertainment, commerce and religion speaks of it. But that was not always so...
I was born in the mid-1950's. If you were to Google those years you would find that Eisenhower was president, racial segregation was ruled unconstitutional, Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on public transportation, the first US satellite completed orbit around the earth, Alaska and Hawaii became states and domestic airlines opened their passenger service between NYC and Miami. It was in this time that I was born; and in spite of not having all 10 fingers and all 10 toes; was "wondrously formed" (Psalms 139.14). Why is this important? It is important because:
a. it was the reality for that period of time; b. it would be a full 20 year time period when the period of 'tolerance' would then emerge; c. it paves the way for the period of  'acceptance' that we now experience.
My reality was this:
1. I was born without my right forearm and hand;
   (for the record, as scarey as this probably was for my parents, I do have multiple siblings who were born after me, all with 10 fingers and 10 toes!)
2. my parents taught me that God made me this way;
3. there was a measure of expectancy/accountability:
        -they also taught me that I could do everything  that anyone else could do,
        -especially if I wanted to, though I might need to do it differently;
        -they would help me to figure out those diffent ways
        -and that I was not 'lesser' for any of these reasons.
So the impact of these realities was this:
1. I could not change how I was born: "it is what it is";
2. there was a divine purpose and plan for me to be this way;
3. the opportunity of using a prosthesis (at that time, for that culture) was a privilege and the expectancy was that I would learn to tolerate and use it to the best of my ability with their encouragement and support to be the best I could be and on a par with my peers.
During early childhood through adolescence my options were a body powered hook, a body powered cosmetic hand, a passive cosmetic hand, or nothing. 'Nothing' was not really an option. -Not in my family culture! For me, in the 1960's and 1970's the body-powered hook was the best option: lightweight and functional. In my very pragmatic mind, I knew that I did not have 2 hands, was highly unlikely to grow a hand and decided that I did not need to look the part, but wanted to function the part!
Stay tuned for the next installment: How Do You Do......?